Friday, September 15, 2006 ♥
ranted@7:39 PM
Dear diary,
JEAN says
You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!
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Generally, you're very happy being a single woman.
And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem.
Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy.
You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!
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You Go For Brains!
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You want a guy with a big... brain.
And of course it would be nice if he were a total hottie, but you're not counting on it.
What's on the inside is what counts for you. (Besides, you can always change the outside later!)
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bored.
haha. after studying so much..
its like so...
dunno how to describe
i'm so in love with libba bray's book.
sigh
lol. sometimes i think i'm a hopelessly romantic.
envisioning the oh-so charming and glistening white knight appearing at my doorstep.
sweeping me off my feet.
and bestowing upon me love n trust that will never cease to prevent my heart from shattering.
but that's only a dream.
only wishful thinking.
reality sinks in.
i must and will get libba bray's book.
SEE. i cant go to the library.
because if i like the book i must oh-so have it!
my dad says he'll give me a brand new vaio sony laptop if i do well in prelims.
but.. even if i dun do well i know he'll give me it.
haha.
the mind is such a mysterious and intricate object.
that never cease to amaze me.
likewise human behaviour too.
i'm begining to realise that perhaps the world isnt that picture perfect as i had preceived it to be.
that beneath the glorious and magnificient deeds that man protrays,
lies yet a deadly concoction of deception, mysteries better left unsaid and deadly thoughts.
perhaps.. i'm being a bit too morbid here.
but i do not understand why we've grow from innocent, oblivious children to such creatures or living things that destroy mother nature and many others.
a wise person once told me that friends come and go that's part n parcel of life so choose your friends carefully.
needless to say..
i was young.
rebellious.
free-spirited.
i wasnt and didnt listened to these wise words.
and now i live to pay for the consequences of my choices.
many a times i blame myself for being a fool
many a times i wrestled with the very emotions that made me believe and hope that perhaps there was hope.
but once and again.
all was crushed by the very people who i swore my loyalty to.
but now.. i begin to believe that perhaps friends or loved ones were jus nicknames or labels that mankind created to seem loyal.
perhaps that was the sole reason.
now..
i'm begining to listen to the very voices that have warned me against such.
and i'm begining to believe that they were right along.
somehow..
something in my mind whisphers not to.
that all is jus a dream.
or that all is jus a lie.
that there was a much more substantial reason.
that little whispher tormets me day n night.
but somehow. i have accqired a numb and emotionless state.
though i want with all my soul , with all mind and with all my strength to believe that all is untrue and jus purely my imagination...
the world tells me to wake up and that's part and parcel of life.
to a fren.
if he ever sees this blog.
or this post
i know i'm drifting apart from you.
and..
in a way..
i guess its part and parcel of life.
frens come and go.
and i'm very satisfied with my life and group of frens now.
i'm really honoured that you took the effort to talk to me about this matter.
but i'm afraid.
that.. we'll jus be frens.
i will somehow... do it.
its gonna take me months and years but... all will be forgotten.
i want to learnt to play the piano like that genius jasmine.
i will practice !
cant wait to rakee the fabulous campsite!
i made a pact with shawn and hongern over making milos during camp.
they seem so glad and joyful when i shook their hands as a sign of agreement.
hmm... is that good or bad?
that's for me to find out in the near future.
ps. a scar for keeps. a heart refine. a character remoulded.
jus read.dun assume and judge. it would be a very subjective and irrational
thing to do
all that we see or seem/ is but a dream within a dream
-Edgar Allan Poe
♥ Love, ME
