Friday, May 20, 2005 ♥
ranted@8:42 AM
Dear diary,
JEAN says
yays!no more exams
no more muggin
no more sleepless nites.
lols
biology paper was so-so.
yeahs.
had to go for endurance camp briefin
though i'm not goin.
sighs.
after that went to heartland mall
with
jingyuan,yuying,cheryllee,shihui,peijin and denise.
hope i spelled their names correctly.
yeahs.
went to eat at bk since yuying had some coupons.
lols.
we kept teasin yuying. lol.
sorry.but it was
fun.((:
after that,
we went to take some neoprints.
lol.
one was nice but another was kinda screwed up.
but nvms.
it was
fun.
hahas.
so..
we walked arnd and went to visit
yuying's fren.lols.
a pink power ranger doll.LOL.den we headed to a music store.
and guess wad..
the sensors
kept ringin when i entered the shop.
i was like
HUH??!!i haven even stepped into the shop and it was ringin?!
weird.lols.
of course
we laughed cos everytime i tried to step into the store.
the sensors jus
kept ringin!later..
we
found out that there was a sensor in my book that i lent yanping.
"shopaholic and sister"
lols
like
duh.no wonder.
anyways.
after that i headed home
took a cab..
exams are finally over....
yays!
♥ Love, ME
Thursday, May 19, 2005 ♥
ranted@6:04 AM
Dear diary,
JEAN says
one more paper.
jus one more.
and i can kiss stress and exams
goodbye......
♥ Love, ME
Tuesday, May 17, 2005 ♥
ranted@9:00 AM
Dear diary,
JEAN says
sighs.
i walk down the lonely road
towards my home.
memories flash past.
joy.
misery.
laughter.
frens.
family.
my past.
all contain in this brain matter of mine.
what can i do.
needless to say,
i've screwed up my life.
i try to look at the bright side.
but jus seems to fade more.
speechless.
i sighs.
.......
ok.
i've really srewed up my blog.
my data has disappeared.
and my tag board has gone to the extremely small column.
i'll try figure after exams.
if its really hopless.
i'll ask the expert to help me.
arghhhhhhhh.
gotta go for tuition..
4 more papers to wonderful freedom.
and perth(if my parents can get flights)
if not my family will go to KL to shop.
lol.
and i get to pon skool cos my parents wanna leave on the 20th.
yes!!
-jeann
♥ Love, ME
Saturday, May 14, 2005 ♥
ranted@9:07 AM
Dear diary,
JEAN says
okoks.
it has been months since i've blogg.
i've been having a hectic schedule.
life sucks.
i feel so
emotionally and physically strained. i feel so
loss in this world.
i feel like
life's not worth living at times.
i feel
hurt.
i feel
betrayed.i feel like a
loser.
i
cry myself to sleep.
but wad can i do?
u're angry and
i dun know y.
why does it have to be her again.
i
nvr tot of revenge.
i
nvr tot of u utterin that hurtful sentence.
am i that assy in ur mind.
have u ever tot of my feelings?
ppl say :" y do u always put in a good word for her"
u say: " u jus wanna get back at her"
i'm
confused.puzzled.
y?
does it have to b u?
i'm
not angry or pissed at you.
i jus
wan ur frenship back.
i
miss the times we laugh.
or are u too cooped up now.
please.
think thru.
jus say hi.
i'll
smile.
cos u're my fren.forever and
ever.
i'll
nvr forget how u were there when i needed my frens most.
i'll
nvr forget how much u helped me get my life back on track.
thank you so much.
tell me what's wrong.
i'll try to change.
mayb i haven realised i've changed.
guide me.
and
show me.
dun say it in a hurtful manner please.
the thing is still a
sensitive topic.
consider tt.
ultimately.u're my fren.
and still will b.to my other frens.i had so much fun with u guys.
it was one of my best weeks in this entire yr.
thanks for helping me.
thanks for talkin sense to me.
thanks for actually makin frens with me.
thanks for bein there when i cried.
thanks for jus stayin behind.
thanks for keepin me accompany.
thanks for listenin to my troubles.
thanks for everything.
man. i'm surrounded by
lovable angels. thanks for
saving me from my lowest point in my life.
to me.
its time i guess i shld forgive myself.
i was hurt.
i was disappointed
i was angry.
i was pissed.
i felt like a pathetic loser.
the horror at what i did.
i was stunned.
i was shocked
i was loss.
i was nothing.
i hated myself.
i searched the bible.
i asked God.
y?!
wld u ever forgive me?
i didnt God wld forgive me though ppl always said He LOVES each of us
and will always forgive.
but i couldnt accept the fact.
i jus couldnt.
well.
now.
when i tot life was pickin up.
i was put down again.
dyin seems like an ideal soultion
but i know i wont.
cos
life goes on...
i have
frens now.
a
family.
and a
future.
life goes on no matter what.
accept or
deny it.
life
still goes on.
it's time to drop the past and live at the present and look towards the future.
it's
time
♥ Love, ME
